Pain muffled in silence

Are you in pain? Is something wearing down your soul?

No human being has avoided pain. In this imperfect and fallen world, pain and sufferings are spices of life. From the moment we were born into the world, pain has been introduced to us. And for a healthy human soul, another human soul is the best pain reliever there is. It is through communication for the purpose of sharing what we feel that we somehow feel relieved, the pain may not go away, but the realization that we are not the only person experiencing such hardship gives us enough strength to keep holding on.

But sometimes, there are circumstances that we had to bear the pain in silence. And oh, how unbearable the pain seems to be!

If you are reading this blog, there’s a big possibility that you are in a painful situation, and most probably you are also required to keep the pain to yourself. Let me tell you this, you’re not alone.

Presently, I am in a painful situation. The Lord, saw it fit that I go through another painful molding process. But unlike before, this new process requires me to learn how to gracefully deal with pain– in silence.

You see, I’m a natural complainer. My mom has even told me that I seem to complain about everything, and that I have a wonderful ability to see negative circumstances larger than they really are, prompting me to complain even more. I also am prone to hitting the panic button and sounding the alarm at the earliest sign of danger, which often results to false alarms, making a fool out of myself.

But the Lord, ever faithful to his promise of making us grow from glory to higher glory, decided that I can not remain in this way. He orchestrated another learning milestone, sovereignly intervening with the events of my life to bring me to where I am now. And in his wisdom, knowing that I will cry out at the first sign of pain, has forewarned me of the process I need to go through.

 

When pain seems unbearable, and the only thing I can do is cry to You. And in your presence, I feel peace, as you wipe my tears away.

In my room, between sleep and awake, he impressed in my heart:

“Child, you need to go through this. It’s going to hurt you a lot, break you into pieces, wound your ego, expose your weaknesses, and scratch your image. But it will make you a better man. Though this, I will show you your imperfections, highlight your strengths, and more importantly, it will help you know Me more. I will show you how I discipline the ones I love, how I make good things better. You will experience how it is to be disciplined by Me, not because I wanted to hurt you, but because I wanted to mold you. I want to develop your trust in me. But you need to remain in silence, until the process is complete.”

Nonetheless the Lord is merciful. He allowed me to share this to some of my trusted friends before the hammer strikes, providing a support group who will pray for me as I go through another breaking process.

I can not tell you now what it was. I am already in the operating room. But soon, after the operation is complete, I will tell you how wonderful the surgeon was. I will tell you how he made an open-heart surgery and replaced my heart with a new one. And I am excitedly looking forward to that day.

You may be in the same situation as I am, we may be in the same operating room; our beds may be next to each other, lying side by side as the Great Surgeon performs his job with remarkable precision and great accuracy. Fear not! He know what he is doing. Remain steadfast.

The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.
Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope.
Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.
For the Lord will not cast off forever.
Though He causes grief, Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
For He does not afflict willingly, Nor grieve the children of men.
(Lamentations 3: 25-33, NKJV)

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4 thoughts on “Pain muffled in silence

    • I agree. naalala ko bigla yung post ko sa forum. Yung “I’m so disappointed with you Lord” when I talked about worshipping God amidst emotional struggles.

  1. “I can not tell you now what it was. I am already in the operating room. But soon, after the operation is complete, I will tell you how wonderful the surgeon was. I will tell you how he made an open-heart surgery and replaced my heart with a new one. And I am excitedly looking forward to that day.”

    …kapag malalim nga naman ang sugat sa puso, when it needs to be operated para gumaling…bubutingtingin yun ng Surgeon kahit gaano pa man kasakit para matanggal ang mga “impurities” na kumakain sa laman…at hindi pa natatapos dun, susulsihin pa yun at gagamutin…

    what we only need is give our FULL TRUST to the Surgeon and rest in His presence. He knows best.

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