The state between sleep and awake: a personal story

In my recent post, I shared to you  what happens to me when I have lucid dreams. Today, I am going to share with you the first encounter. May God remind me the details of it, and that you too might have the blessed assurance that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him (Rom 8:28)” and that you too will “considered Him faithful who had made the promise (Heb 11:11)”

— o —

It was a Saturday afternoon of 2006, I was in my room, on my bed, and had just finished my quiet time. I lie back on my soft pillow and saw my younger brother texting at the lower side of the bed. Later on he stood up and went downstairs (our room is on the 2nd floor). If I remember it right, I was thinking about my career and my future, perhaps meditating on one of my favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11.

The blinding light and the indescribable peace come together, like they are one.

Then a few minutes later, a Man dressed in white linen suddenly appeared beside my bed. I don’t know how he appeared, but it feels like he has been there all those time. His presence is very familiar. His face glows brightly and the light fills the room (which makes me look down so I can’t see his face). It is so bright but also I felt being drawn to it, like a metal drawn to a powerful magnet. My heart feels like it is about to burst with so much happiness; it is so uncontainable I just cry. The blinding light and the indescribable peace come together, like they are one. I can’t see his eyes but I can feel when He is looking, not in my outward appearance, but into my heart. What the Bible says is true, He does not take His eyes off you. His stare, it feels like a mother’s tender love, makes you feel special, loved and no one can harm you. It overwhelms my senses and the peace goes deep, deep, deep down my soul; as if his light can penetrate the innermost part of my being. Like you can’t hide anything. But you don’t feel guilty or condemn. He is overflowing with so much love, like he is love itself. His presence is overwhelming, trembling and awe-inspiring.

But what really strikes me is how he speaks to me and the way I respond. He called me by my name, (or “My child”) and I instantly call him Jesus or Lord even if I don’t see his face. It’s just like, I just know who He is.

And when he speaks, it’s not something heard by the ears; it’s like he speaks directly to your heart or mind. His voice sounds like water, very sweet and calming — scenes of a clear brook in a tranquil rain-forest will come to your mind. In an instant He can speak volumes, and your mind can understand it immediately. He can tell you a lot of things too deep to understand in just one click. He told me a lot, but I can’t remember all.

When he speaks it initially sounds like thunder but when it reaches your heart/mind it feels so good that you can’t find the right words to describe the feeling. Although it is worth noting that the feeling is somewhat similar to when we experience the baptism of the Holy Spirit, or during intense heart-felt worship.

Then he “said” these words.

“I will bless you in ways that you have never even imagined. Greater than your wildest dreams, far better than what you could have hoped for. I will make your life a showpiece of My power, and of My blessings, and of My anointing and of My might. You have not seen anything yet. Most people has believed in their heart that although I exist, I am a distant God, that I can not and do not directly intervene and participate in their circumstances, or that I only do such things in the days of old. But I want them to know that I am the same and I do not change. Behold, I will bless you tremendously in such a way that people around you will recognize that it is I who is with you, that in this life I am capable of blessing anyone who I chose to bless. The way I intervene in your life will be a testimony of who I am. Favor after favor will follow you. And because of the things that I am going to do in your life in the midst of them, they will call to me and pray to me and ask me to bless them too, the way that I have blessed you. I (will) hold your life in the very palm of my hands. I will be with you, as I have always been with you from the very moment you were born. My thoughts are higher than your thoughts.”

Then he stood up and walked away slowly. I tried to look at him but I saw only the “manggas” of his clothes. When I tried to move my body to catch a glimpse of his face, that’s the time I snapped back to reality and the room went back to normal.

Confused, and slightly dizzy, I tried to make sense of what happened. His last words rang in my ears. I immediately tried to search what verse it is and found it in Isaiah 55. I read the entire chapter, and I realized it was the biblical confirmation of that event.

I can’t explain what happened. I also can not remember everything he said. I tried to ask some leaders about it, but they warned me that I might be deceived, that it could just be a dream, and that I should not think about it too much or the Devil might use it as a way to deceive me. I think they do have a point. Fearing that I may be showing signs of psychological disorder, I kept the thing to myself.

But it happened again. The same Man, the same feeling, the same voice. it happened many times until I got used to it. Sometimes, when I there are things unclear to me about His word, or I am going through something in life that I do not understand, or when I’m preparing for an exhortation, and I fall asleep thinking about it, He comes and explains to me things I would have not understood on my own. When I snap back, the first thing I do is grab my cellphone and try to write down whatever I can remember.

But it doesn’t always happen (in fact it’s been a long time since the last time he visited me in that way), and I have no way of controlling it (although I always wanted it to happen again). But I notice some pattern or common things in all occurrences: 1) They always happen AFTER quiet time/meditation, 2) never happen in a deep sleep 3) Always with the same Man.

So that was my story. I don’t expect anyone to believe me, it doesn’t matter to me anyways. If that is a product of my imaginations, or simply a dream, then that is the most awesome dream I ever had.

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4 thoughts on “The state between sleep and awake: a personal story

    • hello! thank you for your feedback sis. I agree, God is great and awesome. This story is not about me, nor about his promise to me, but about Him, the promise-keeper, and His magnificent grace to bless someone not worthy, like me. He can bless anyone.

      I took an act of faith of posting it here, because I know He who promises is sure to keep them into fulfillment.

      Thanks again, I hope you will find my other blogs worthwhile too.

  1. “..it doesn’t always happen (in fact it’s been a long time since the last time he visited me in that way), and I have no way of controlling it (although I always wanted it to happen again). But I notice some pattern or common things in all occurrences: 1) They always happen AFTER quiet time/meditation, 2) never happen in a deep sleep 3) Always with the same Man.”

    …this is very true…based on my own experience… 🙂

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