I’m so disappointed with You, Lord (conclusion)

“Lord, It is easy to worship and feel close to you when things are going great in my life. I have everyday to worship you, but I don’t always get this opportunity to worship you when I’m hurting the most. I want to make this memorable. This is all that I can offer you today. This is my alabaster jar. Let it be a sacrificial worship. As I break it at your feet, let its breaking resound through the hallways of your Kingdom, and its aroma fill your courts… for eternity.”


Dumating ako sa bahay, hindi parin fully nagsi-sink in ang nangyari.

(Click here for part 1)

I told my mom what happened. Shocked as she was, pero nakita nya ang determinasyon sa puso ko.

“Paano yan, worship lead ka pa naman ngayon.” Nag-aalala sya sa emotions ko. Its hard to lead the people with a personal burden.

I smiled and tried to make my face firm to look more convincing..

“Ma, Pressure reveals what is inside. For the past hours since I got the news, I’ve been into the pressure of varied emotions. Kahit ako hindi ko alam what is really inside me. Today, I have the rare opportunity to know and show. I’d like to show my God I am made of the right stuff…” then I hugged her tight. “Gusto ko ring makita mo how I have grown under your guidance for the past 20 years. I wanna make you proud.”

(Click here for part 2)

Hindi na ako natulog. Nagpahinga na lang ako ng konti, kumain at pagkatapos ay naligo. Maaga akong pumunta ng church. Naabutan ko dun ang mga kasamahan ko sa Music who are eager to know the news. I told them it went well. Mamaya ako magkwento.

Nang magsimula na nag P&W, I prayed. “Lord, It is easy to worship and feel close to you when things are going great in my life. I have everyday to worship you, but I don’t always get this opportunity to worship you when I’m hurting the most. I want to make this memorable. This is all that I can offer you today. This is my alabaster jar. Let it be a sacrificial worship. As I break it at your feet, let its breaking resound through the hallways of your Kingdom, and its aroma fill your courts… for eternity.”

Pagkatapos ng praise and worship, nilapitan ako ni Pastor. That was one of the best praise and worship this church had. I just smiled and gave God the glory.

Dahil 1st sunday of the month, testimony portion. nagtestify din ako. I told the congregation:

“There is no wine without pressing the grapes, no oil without crushing the olives, no pure silver without refining fire, no sweet aroma without breaking the alabaster jar. Sabi sa Purpose driven life, the deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting Him when tempted, surrendering while suffering and loving Him when He seems distant.”

Nagpalakpakan ang mga tao. They shouted, Amen!.

Tumahimik ako sandali.

“I did not pass the training. Wala na po akong work. Pero yung praise and worship kanina, it was the best worship I ever offered him mula nang naging Christian ako.” The church fell silent.

My heart was very heavy, but I feel much better. Tahimik akong pumunta sa CR para magpunas ng luha (Sorry, mababaw ang luha ko pag kay God). Paglabas ko, andun si mama. She cried while hugging me tight. I felt God was also hugging me. Narinig ko na naman ung voice sa puso ko.

“It is finished. Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

I passed His test.

———- EPILOGUE ————-

Tatlong taon na ang nakalipas nang mangyari iyon. And God is very faithful. Nalaman ko na nadissolve ang CTS dept 6 months pagkatapos nang pangyayari. He knew it would happen, kaya hindi na Nya hinayaan magtagal ako doon. Marami rin sa mga kasamahan ko ang hindi naregular, yung iba nagresign sa toxic ng trabaho sa DELL.

Ako naman, pagkatapos nang sa DELL, nakahanap ako agad ng malilipatan. Nandito na ako ngayon sa isang US-based outsourcing company,  enjoying my career on its 3rd year. A much much better, greener pasture in terms of compensation, environment and position. Dalawang beses na rin akong napromote, the last one putting me into a lead role and gave me opportunities to travel abroad as a Global Deployment Trainer. Lahat ng sinabi ko kay RV, nangyari at nagkatotoo.

Nakaka-excite ang Lord. In my personal life I saw that everything he promised, he fulfills. I hope na-encourage kayo sa (mahabang) kwento to trust Him and know Him more.

Share ko sa inyo sabi ni Pastor:
WHEN YOU TOUCH THE HEART OF GOD, YOU MOVE THE HAND OF GOD.

More blessings to all!!

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3 thoughts on “I’m so disappointed with You, Lord (conclusion)

  1. Pingback: I’m so disappointed with You, Lord (part 3 of 4) « Notes of an Imperfect Christian

  2. Your story is such an Inspiration. Partly, I can see myself in your testimony uttering prayer that is inside my heart unlike me I’m still waiting to the amazing things God has prepared for me… right now..I learned my lesson and I really thank God for not forsaking me just like what he said in His promise. He let me go through this point of my life where in I really need to face the consequence for this single mistakes..

    And now I am learning, he lead me to thank him and hold him and to his promise..

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