(Some commercial break while I am still writing the subsequent parts of Is my Church a cult.)
I stumbled upon this blog, and I must admit that his words echoed the words that were in my heart when I was still aching — words that I had to suppress inside in fear of being ostracized and being labeled as “rebellious spirit” just because I have spoken my mind and apparently by doing so, I have “touched the Lord’s anointed”.
Now the wounds have healed and left ugly scars. And I realized the same thing he realized:
Oftentimes the beginning of healing is when I become honest to myself: that (1) I am a human being hurt by another human being, and(2) that I am not as innocent as I often claim to be.
Here’s an excerpt of what hit me most…
As I said before, I really struggle with this. But not because I still feel that way. I struggle with this because sometimes it’s easier to feel that way. I want to be mad at the Church for how some are treated and abused. I want to be mad at the Church for its exclusivity and opulence. And I believe that kind of anger is right. But I find it so much easier to stand in judgment? Rather than giving myself over to creative solutions, it’s far easier to simmer in the broth of unimaginative, tired, and borrowed impotence while offering no solutions whatsoever.
What I’ve discovered in my journey is that I didn’t really hate the Church. The Church isn’t what hurt me. A person hurt me. People hurt me. I hurt myself. I was projecting my hurt and humiliation at an institution because that’s a much larger target. It’s an easier target. I can’t miss when I’m firing at larger structures and let’s be honest, it feels better. It’s much more difficult to fire at a person with a face and a name and issues, many of which are the same as mine.
Read the rest of his honest article here: This is why I hate the Church.
Thoughts to Ponder:
Is this also the reason why you hate your Church, or your ex-Church? Who do you put the blame on?