Advice Seeker: Pastors na ayaw magkasal ng 3 months preggy | Notes of an Imperfect Christian

(This is Pinoy-culture in general, this may not be applicable to Non-Filipino readers, so I am using my native language.)

Hi Webservant,

May youth po kase kami na nabuntis ng ka-Church namin. Pareho sila workers. Nagkasundo na sila magpakasal, pero ayaw po sila ikasal ng Pastor namin kase 3 months preggy, may laman na raw at hindi maganda, nadudumihan ang purity ng Church. Nire-refer po sila sa huwes. Ano po stand nyo dito?

  • If you were the pastor, ikakasal mo ba?
  • If you were the parents, ano mararamdaman mo na ni-reject ng Church mo yung anak mo?

Mr MOP


Mr MOP,

Ngayon lang ako nakarinig ng ganyan. Sana hindi ko Church yan. Sana talaga hindi. 

Anyways, ito ang sagot ko.

Kung ako yung pastor, dahil wala akong alam na Bible verse na nagbabawal magkasal pag “may laman” na, titignan ko sa legalidad kung may mga batas ba ayon sa Family Code of the Philippines na nalabag. Kung walang nalabag na batas, ikakasal ko sila.

Kasi kung hindi, denial of Human Rights yun at pwede akong makasuhan ng mga magulang. Ayon sa Article 16 ng Universal Declaration of Human Rights:

  • (1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
  • (2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.
  • (3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.

Kung nagkasundo ang dalawa na
magpakasal matapos madiskubreng nabuntis si babae, na-satisfy na nila ang section 2 sa taas. Pasalamat nga tayo dahil pinanindigan ni lalaki ang pananagutan nya eh.

Kung  pipigilan ito ng anumang simbahan o relihiyon o kahit ng mga magulang sa anumang dahilan maliban sa batas (ex: violation of Family Code) maari silang makasuhan (perjury or misfeasance?).

Baka naman may ibang legal na dahilan kaya ayaw sila ipakasal (ex: baka menor de edad pa). Harsh naman kasi at judgmental ang dating kung sasabihin nating pinoprotektahan ang pure image ng Church. Naniniwala akong hindi ganito kakitid magisip ang Pastor ninyo. I believe that pastors have a heart like Jesus for sinners, and they will not turn away those who come to God para itama ang mga mali nilang nagawa. Subukan mo pang alamin kung ano talaga ang dahilan.

Pero kung sakaling totoong ang dahilan kaya ayaw sila ikasal ay reputasyon or image ng Church, teka muna! Ibang usapan iyan. Ano yun, may sariling konstitusyon ang Church nyo, na mas mataas sa Philippine Constitution? That’s plain ridiculous!

The Church is the hospital for sinners, nagkasala na yung dalawa and they have self-inflicted wounds to their conscience and souls. Hindi pa kasama dun ang guilt at panghuhusga ng mga tao. Una sa lahat dapat gamutin sila at alalayan sila in this crucial stage. Jesus first cared for the wounded soul of the adulteress before he dealt with her sin. The Church is the ambassador of that Grace and Love; its role is to lovingly remind sinners na walang kasalanang hindi kayang patawarin ni Kristo. Sila ang dapat magturo at gumabay sa mga nagkasala kung paano maire-restore ang relationship nila sa Lord. And getting married is the first step.

If your Church ceases to perform that function, then it is on her way to becoming something else. Kung hindi sila ikakasal, may tendency na ulit-ulitin nila ang pagtatalik ng hindi kasal, tutal buntis na rin naman. Yes, pangit pakinggan but that is the reality of life. And God will hold your Church (or your Pastor) responsible for it.

If your Church leaders are doing this talaga, then who are they pleasing? God or man? Tapos ipapakasal sa huwes para hindi sila madamay? Ano yun? Poncio Pilato ba pangalan ng pastor nyo? Nakakalungkot naman.

Disclaimer:

Alam ko may magagalit sa stand ko pero this is my conviction, and I am not speaking in behalf of the organization I belong to.

Kung may miyembro ng Church na nabanggit sa itaas ang makabasa ng punto de vista ko, feel free to comment here. I acknowledge I may be wrong and I am open to learning more. Basta po wala lang gagamit ng Jesus Nuke*

*Jesus Nuke /noun/ ang paraan ng paggamit ng mga kapitulo at bersikulo at kadalasan ay may kasamang mapanghusga o masakit na salita para ipahiya ang kabilang panig o patunayan na mas makatwiran ang pananaw nila kesa sa iba. Gawa-gawa ko lang rin po ito. Copyrighted.

Halimbawa:  Para kang hindi Kristiyano! Hindi ka marunong sumunod sa lider mo. May rebellious spirit ka! Sabi sa 1 Samuel 15:23. “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry”. Yun ang Jesus Nuke.

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6 thoughts on “Advice Seeker: Pastors na ayaw magkasal ng 3 months preggy | Notes of an Imperfect Christian

  1. For me, I think the pastor has a point in standing for their church’s code. IF that is their official stance. Otherwise it’s plain discrimination.

    E.g. Some churches require attendance to a pre-marriage counseling before they will do the ceremony. Others require the deposit of payment. As long as it does not interfere with the legalities, as WS said.

    But if the main issue is the holy image of the church, it’s a different animal.
    These young couple has already sinned publicly. Is there anything more to hide?
    This church should build a hospital. One that requires patients to do the surgery on other clinic and be declared cured before they get admitted.

    The harshest words from the mouth of our Lord Jesus was reserved not for the scum of the society but the eloquent and distinguished church leaders.

    • Tama po. I am more inclined to believe na nag-iingat lang ang ating mga pastor na huwag lumabag sa mga rules. May mga pasaway kasi na hindi pala umattend ng pre-marriage counseling eh mandatory un. Wag natin bigyan ng dagdag na sakit ng ulo ang mga pastor.

  2. Nice Entry W3bservant!

    First, lemme clarify that my comment is more on to explain both sides based on my opinion only. I’m not saying na eto ung tama or may pinapanigan ako 😀

    Church(s) / Ptr(s) side:
    It can be their own rules and regulation on their own church. Nothing to do with grace issues..Maybe, they just want to build a standard that will encourage to the people that,”If you want to conduct your wedding in our church, pursue purity.” Pedeng iyon..

    Yung mejo not good sides lang dito is IF they think of what will others might say against them. Like, “Jan pala sa church na yan pdeng magkasal ng buntis or what.” Which can lead the Leaders to a mindset that ‘we have to protect our Holy image.’ Not good for me..

    On parent’s side, it hurts esp leaders/workers ako sa church na yon if they not allow my son/daughter na ikasal sa church namin because of that issue. But of course, given na nakakahiya din naman sa side ko, but the point is kung nasimulan nila ng mali; why not to bring them back to God.

    My main point is, may the church be the hospital for the sinners. And of course, let’s also offer ourselves holy and acceptable to God.

    Thx

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